


On The Evils of Soap Operas

by zetsubou_hana (Sakura_no_Miko)



Category: Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Crack, Incest, Kink Meme, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Phoenix Wright Kink Meme, Soap Opera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-07
Updated: 2008-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura_no_Miko/pseuds/zetsubou_hana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apollo reveals something he shouldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Evils of Soap Operas

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://teagueful.livejournal.com/35657.html?thread=9602889#t9602889) on the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme:
> 
> _Klavier and Apollo are already in a relationship, etc etc etc_
> 
> _Anyways, I want at one point, be it at dinner alone, right after their first time, or just watching television, Apollo admits/ or accidentally slips that he's had sex with Kristoph._
> 
> _Eventually Klavier slips that he has too._

“It was a mistake, I swear! I mean…it was before I’d even met you, and you two are so alike, and….and… I SLEPT WITH YOUR SISTER!”

The following slap made the apartment nearly vibrate.

“God, Klavier, do you have to watch that trash?” came the voice of the Ace Attorney, Apollo Justice, from the kitchen. “At least turn the volume down.”

Really. He’d indulged Klavier in his wish to buy a new, very large, and very loud high definition TV for their newly shared apartment, but, really. He didn’t need to have bleached blonde, overdramatic soap stars screaming at each other on his days off. Well, at least Klavier didn’t watch the telenovas. Apollo shuddered slightly. 

“And what is wrong with watching _Our Turning Passions_ , Forehead?” Klavier replied as Apollo dragged in the sandwiches and sodas. 

“Like that stuff ever happens in real life,” Apollo muttered. “Sleeping with your girlfriend’s half-sister. Geez, that’s be like me having sex with…”

He trailed off, and suddenly turned very, very red. 

Klavier was one him like flies on honey. “Like having sex with _who_ , Forehead?” he needled gently. He loved making Apollo turn red. For some reason, it inevitably led to hot, wild sex. And from the look on Apollo’s face, this would be something he could tease with for a long time.

“Nothing. No one,” Apollo corrected himself. “It was just a thought.”

“About who?” Klavier needled again. He made an overdramatic hand motion, and then brought a napkin to his cheek, mock-crying. “You would cheat on me with someone’s sister if you had the chance, ja?”

“I would _not_ ,” Apollo replied back grumpily. 

Klavier smiled. “Oh, then you already have!” he said dramatically. “Why, Forehead, I never knew…” He leaned forward, fluttering his eyelashes. “You, a lover of older women? I’d have never guessed. I bet Fräulein Lana was a really demon, ja?”

Apollo’s face couldn’t get any redder. “That AMAZON?!” he shrieked. Klavier pulled back. His aching ears. They had yet to make a TV that could outdo the Chords of Steel.

“Not her, hmm? Who else could it be?” He pretended to think long and hard. “If this were an episode of _Passions_ …ach!” He gave his best scandalized look. “Forehead, surely you didn’t…not with Fräulein Trucy?”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” 

Ouch. Evidently the matter of Fräulein Trucy and their recent revelation was still a little…sensitive.

“Just joking. Joking, ja?” Apollo was going to faint if he kept this up. High blood pressure and all. 

“Why…” Apollo started, finally calming down, “Why do you suddenly think I was with a woman?” He thrust his arm out, pointing squarely at Klavier’s nose. “I bet _you’re_ the one who did it with someone’s sister!”

“Nein, nein,” Klavier struggled valiantly to defend his…erm, ‘honor.’ “More like someone’s brother,” he couldn’t resist adding.

Apollo went red again. 

“Ah-hah,” Klavier smirked. “Like your Herr Wright always says, the truth reveals itself. So, it was a _bruder_ , ja?”

The game was getting so fun, he’d forgotten about the soap opera completely.

“Maybe it was...” Klavier trailed off. Actually…who did they know that had a brother? After all, they rarely knew the families of their defendants, and no one from their friends had… His eyes lit up. Oh, this would be deliciously _evil_. “It’s even worse than I feared, Forehead.”

“What?” Apollo dared to ask.

“I know…you were a struggling student, ja? You had no money, no one to turn to, so you…” Klaiver looked away. “You took a job as an escort!” Apollo looked at him incredulously, but he cut off the attorney’s complaint. No, he was still going with this. “And you…your client…was none other than the Judge’s brother!” 

Klavier would have kept going, but the _look_ on Apollo’s face made him burst out laughing. He was nearly crying by the time it stopped. 

“I…I…” Apollo muttered.

Klavier smiled. He was being too cruel. He swept up the dazed, red-faced attorney in his arms and kissed him, expecting the boy to melt in his arms, and yet…Apollo had an odd look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” Klavier murmured against his ear. “I went too far, ja?”

Apollo was still staring at the ground. “Fore…Apollo,” Klavier urged again. He didn’t like the expression on Apollo’s face. He voice was light, teasing again. “Come on, Forehead. Even if you _did_ sleep with someone else, you know I don’t care. I mean, even I…”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew,” Apollo said softly, so low Klavier almost didn’t hear it.

“It was just a joke, Apollo. Like you said, those things never really happen…and even if they do, I’m sure they never come out like that.” His fingers brushed over Apollo’s shoulder. “They never have to come out.”

“I…I SLEPT WITH KRISTOPH!” Apollo blurted. “We were drunk and I had just helped out on my first case and we were at the party and I woke up in his bed and…”

Apollo was nearly hyperventilating. “Shhh, shhh, calm down Apollo,” Klavier tried to soothe him.

“Aren’t you ashamed of me?” he nearly wailed.

“Not really,” Klavier replied, and Apollo blinked up at him. “After all, I did too. And we _weren’t_ drunk.”

Apollo blinked.

Blinked again.

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!”

Klavier was positive he felt the wind blow through his hair that time. He shrugged. “This is probably a good time to forget this entire conversation, ja?”

Apollo nodded furiously.

And so they did.

At least until a few months later, when Klavier roped Apollo into watching the Special Fan Appreciation Week of _Our Turning Passions_ , with storylines sent in by the fans via their message board.

A buxom, but sadly airheaded blonde was wailing, “I…I slept with your brother! I’m so sorry!”

The chiseled hunk paused a moment before boldly declaring, “Well, the truth is…I also slept with my brother!”

The blonde blinked. “Oh, well, then…you don’t suppose he’d be up for a repeat, do you?”

Klavier should have expected the vicious pillow to the face he got.


End file.
